Where Have You Been Dani?

Yes I know, I haven’t written a blog in a while. So much has been going on and honestly, time was of the essence. Not only is my time valuable, so is yours.  I figured if the quality of my writing was going to be less than my best, it wouldn’t  be worth your time reading. However, I AM BACK!  Hopefully it wasn’t too bad for you during this time off the “journey with Dani”. I am sure you have planned a few things for the duration of the year or moreso, for the beginning of Fall.

Me: Classes start on Monday and I am taking three this semester: African American Studies, Non Profit Organizations, and Business Policies. *Pray For Me*

You: Are you taking any classes? If so, what are you taking? If you don’t mind me asking, where do you attend school? Post your comments below…

Let’s Chat: If you are new to following me, WELCOME! For those of you returning, as always, I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your support! To my new friends, I started school back in 2015 after almost eight years of being out. God  has blessed me with employment for a University. I take advantage of all the wonderful benefits including an education. Each semester I take a few classes working towards my bachelors degree. Proud to announce: I am a junior, a few credits shy of being a senior ! “Won’t God Do It?” I met with my advisor this summer and we discuss the classes remaining, let us just say that the end is near! ♥

Friends, I really do appreciate you reading these blogs. I started writing a long time and told myself no matter how many subscribers I obtain-this is my passion. I will always write as if thousands were reading. If more opportunity comes of this, so be it, but if not-God is still good! I use my blogs to express things I deal with. You might as well say it’s therapy for me. Plus, how awesome it even in the midst of God dealing with me, (revealing my story), my blogs manage to help someone else? Every time I become discouraged about what isn’t going right in my life, God sends someone to remind me how blessed I am (how it could always be worst). Sometimes he even uses someone to bless me!

Testimony: On yesterday, I had been dealing with a lot, including my short comings. I was talking to with a friend about how hard it was for me to see so many problems I could not offer a solution to. She gave some good advice, but also blessed me with lunch. Now that may seem small to you, but at that moment, that was everything to me. My friend could have just listened to me vent, but she reached out. She let me share with her my inner thoughts, blessed me with lunch, and provided some wisdom/encouragement to help me keep going.  I always pray to God for those who go out of their way to bless me, that he blesses them even more. You see, I know the season I am in. Therefore, every seed sown into my life whether it’s financially, a word of encouragement, a hug, lunch, an outfit, a ride, whatever, I DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY. There was a time I had so much more to give, but right now I simply live on grace and mercy from God my father. I embrace the generosity of close family and friends. Everyone doesn’t have to know the details of your story, but for those you feel comfortable sharing it with-remember to be sincere and God will do the rest.

I can not wait until I am in a better place. Don’t get me wrong, I still give now when I can or I’m led to (even when I don’t have it-I never want to be disobedient or miss an opportunity to bless others). In my quiet time, I write down those who stuck by my side. Not to keep tabs on blessings, but to remember individuals who DID NOT HAVE TO, BUT DID. I never want to forget the love and support shown to me throughout these “trying” years. TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, you know who you are, THANK YOU! It feels good to be back.

Much love to everyone reading this…..until next time

Learning How to Date AGAIN

What is dating?

*Good question.

My experiences (Past dating)

*I have had maybe three “proper ” dates in my life. I was picked up from my home or place of preference, the door was opened for me, and the conversation was simply great. Over dinner, I was able to introduce myself to someone while they did the same.

Tips or suggestions (Things to keep in mind) DISCLAIMER: I am no love consultant, in fact I am still figuring this “dating thing ” out myself!

1. Be yourself (Do not pretend to be someone else. This is a clean slate for the both of you-a fresh start)

2. Relax (Loosen up- now is not the time to be uptight and it awkward, LOL)

3. Think of a few questions/ subjects you could ask or discuss to either spark up a conversation or to continue it. (Suggestions: hobbies, religion, career, family, goals)

4. Pay attention (Are they interested in you or only themselves? Manners/Respect (You can establish boundaries and expectations during this time)

5. Do Not Start Something You Cannot Keep Up (If you start texting good morning everyday, this might be expected- changing is okay, just know the person may look forward to it)

6. Recall the Conversations (Their favorite color, something they have always wanted to do (could be a future date idea)

*Hint: if I had the time I would….. if i had the money I would…. things that bothered them in the past (Do not repeat), one day I would love to….

7. Stay True to Yourself (I STRUGGLED WITH THIS) I compromised so much, I never really gained the courtesy of receiving it back) Do not give marriage privileges to a boo thang, WAIT. If you desire to get married, do not settle.

8. Remember the goals you set. (If they care for you, they will respect your hustle. In fact, they will support you.)

9. No two people are alike. (Do Not compare past experiences to now. My suggestion is do not even bring it up period. If you see a pattern check yourself and reevaluate your type lol)

10. Have fun. Enjoy dating. Get rid of the anxiety.

Does Social Media Give Us A Voice or Does It Take It?

Facebook Example: I have relatives moving out of state pretty soon; so a few of my family members decided to send them off with love and QT before they depart in the morning. I was unable to attend and honestly didn’t know about it because it was last minute. (No shade, I promise-LOL) So as usual I am on Facebook when I noticed a cousin’s post saying farewell to them. I  immediately went to comment and realized how something I probably should have “said” in person, I simply “typed”. It dawned on me, this happens often. I’ll wake up in the morning, thankful for a new day, and instead of just being thankful- I make it a post! (Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing,  people are inspired by my posts). 

Oftentimes if I want to wish someone a happy birthday, tell them I love them, or just check-in, social media is usually the way I do so. It has made life so easy to communicate, that I no longer send texts or emails for real. I barely call people (especially if they have social media too).

Question: How many times do you have a thought and before you know it, it’s your status? It’s like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat are now our voices. If we want to speak on an issue we take to social media “in a hurry”. We don’t write in journals or write letters anymore. We don’t even have to remember birthdays, because Facebook prompts us “Celebrating a birthday today is…..”. I can literally call and video chat with friends and loves ones using any SM Platform. (What happen to visiting your peeps?)

I kept a journal as teen, even during my early adulthood. You could NOT stop me from writing in my journal. In fact, those who knew me well, recommended I do so (to release all this “energy”). So I ask the question, because I know many of us are probably guilty of it….Does Social Media Give Us a Voice or Does It Take It? In high school I did not like the way the bus system was setup. The buses were too crowded and the neighborhoods were at war with one another. It made absolutely no sense to do so either.  We had funds to route multiples buses, the decision to overcrowd was just poorly planned. (No offense) So because social media wasn’t as popular as it is now, I wrote a letter to the Board of Education requesting another bus be added to the route. As of result of doing so, my voice was heard and obviously my concern was taken seriously.

Fast forward to Today: I basically would have made a post saying “buses overcrowded, need a solution”, others would comment and some would “share”. I could only hope that my story “be shared enough” to see a change. Is this what we really want? From social injustice, to live murders and attacks, social media is now our “new voice”. Everyday, someone’s post is their reality. They anticipate the comments and shares. If their day is going good or even if it’s horrible, social media will tell you.  In fact, Facebook has been many people’s cry for help when no one took it seriously because unfortunately, Facebook isn’t reliable. It allow us to be “who we want to be one day and another day who we don’t want to be”. We control our pages and hide things we don’t want others to know and only share stuff we do.

Disclaimer: I AM NOT OPPOSED TO SOCIAL MEDIA. I only challenge you to remember your voice goes beyond it. Don’t let “SM” limit your voice.

Think about it……

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Me…..

Who Am I? What’s Misslady All About?

Here are ten things you may or may not know about me. All of which, defines my  purpose and shares my story…..

  1. I love to travel! I travel more than the money I have (Don’t judge-there’s a method to my madness. Travel with a bunch to split the cost)
  2.  I have a dog named Abby (Part poodle, part schnauzer-she’s eight years old) It feels just like I have a daughter, literally!
  3. I graduated high school in 2006, went off to college, completed two and half years a few credits shy of being a Junior and returned home. I was studying Pre-Med/Biology with a desire to become a Pediatrician.
  4. I married in my early twenties, maybe 23 years old? LOL My ex-husband and I were seventeen years apart! (YIKES)
  5. I have two families (a similar situation to being adopted) Many know me as either Parks or Averhart. (I’m okay with either) Biologically the youngest of four and otherwise, the oldest of three-scratch that, next to oldest because my sister Pearl would have a fit!)
  6. I have a couple flaws of imperfection. “Don’t hide behind the mirror girl, embrace those unique marks”, Dani .                                                                                                   1.) A condition called PCOS. (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) Basically my hormones are out of whack and I can’t control them; only maintain the symptoms. So…. I experience stuff like: weight gain, excessive hair growth, mood swings to make your want to stay away (lol), etc.  2.)When I decided to do the big chop (natural hair term) I went in for an edge up and the guy (No Name Called, but clearly infatuated by my chest size and cleavage) went too far back; it took me years to get the little fuzz back (lol).
  7. I had my heart broken twice. I experienced a few setbacks in relationships; some stronger than others, but I’ve only felt the “intensity” of two breakups. Since both of them read my blogs, I’ll leave their names out!
  8. I am currently in school studying Human Relations & Management on an Interdisciplinary Studies track (Basically means, I created my own degree). While working full time for the University as well.
  9. I am a part of ministry. I serve on the praise team at my church (The Best Church Ever) Friendship Christian Church Ministries, where Pastor L. F. Huggins is my Pastor! (yeah-yeah) Also, I am a member of the young adults ministry (FUTURE-Friends United Through Understanding Righteous Expectations)-Ha! It’s been a while since I wrote out the acronym-had to do a double take for a second!
  10. I write blogs as if thousands are reading. I pour my heart out to readers praying my story really encourages someone! Do I have it all figured out? NO. Am I curious to go on and see what the end is gonna be? YES. Will this be an adventure? BET  Am I happy you’re sharing it with me? OF COURSE


Stay tune!

Sunday Wisdom

Good morning family!

Here’s a clip from a Facebook post I made a while back when I “was” going through a hard time and God reminded me of who He is in my life…..something I quickly forgot. (Thanks Facebook for the memories option)

Be Blessed!

“Picking up the pieces to my heart, starting over again, trying to have no regrets-just a lesson learned, and staying positive. Everything that happens in my life is usually for a greater purpose, whether it’s to build/strengthen me or to help someone else eventually, thank you Lord for using me either way” #Missladylearned #nextchapter

Happy Sunday😊

An Unexpected Encounter….

You came into my office and I wasn’t expecting to see you. The crazy part is I knew you were coming (at one point) but uncertain the definite day or time. I guess I needed to see you, to remind me of what I want. I still believe in what you have to offer.  I always say that I’ll find the “one” when I least expect it, but to say that right now, after today, is an understatement. I messaged you to let you know I find you attractive and to be clear I wasn’t a stalker. I reiterated you would not have to worry about me blowing your DM up as well, it was simply a compliment.

Isn’t it weird how something like this, could potentially turn into a love story? The past few weeks I have learned (by way of conversation) how a few couples I know met. One couple met in New York while one was on a mission trip and the other completing their internship. Another met during online dating,  found out that their paths crossed more than they knew. In fact, this couple had been in the same restaurants (in various states) at the same time and did not even know it! How cool is that?

My Love Background: You all know I’ve been married before and frankly when I entered that nuptial I knew forever was for sure. I made plans to be the “Mrs.” a long time.  I fulfilled my vows….”til death do you part”. Maybe I should have asked him first if that was his agenda as well! Three months into the marriage, no scratch that, one month into the marriage I wanted out but the fighter in me stood strong. I recall saying it’s still within 90 days we can just call it quits, but he promised me better days-if only they were better.

So to see you in my office today with that gorgeous smile on your face, well groomed, with a sense of humor and gorgeous hands I almost forgot what “single and content” felt like. I could actually see myself dating again. Even though I have dated since my marriage, non were successful or pleasant to exit. Each required a piece of me they took with them. It has taken me a while to gain those pieces back, but I have done so. *Pats self on the shoulder*  The saying, “it is well with my soul” is clearly appropriate for my past relationships. I wish them all (as if it was many-lol) the very best.  I actually thank them for letting go when they couldn’t offer me the love I deserve, the love I long for; unconditional, imperfect, but strong!

Yet isn’t it weird how something like this, could potentially turn into a love story? Me finding you, you finding me???? Today, after all my past and all of yours, whatever that may be.   If we but said more than we did…..

Luckily for us (we still have the message in your DM I sent, and you still know my office location)….so isn’t it weird that something like this, could potentially become OUR LOVE STORY?

*Sighs while blushing, it’s dope how everyone’s love story is tailored to be unique yet beautiful…..

P.S. Dani